Posted on by Michael Romano

The Delicate Balance of Terror 18

“It struck him as curious that you could create dead men but not living ones. Comrade Ogilvy, who had never existed in the present, now existed in the past, and when once the act of forgery was forgotten, he would exist just as authentically, and upon the same evidence, as Charlemagne or Julius Caesar.” George Orwell

You must have questions. The old man with the beard says as he continues writing. Why do you continue writing if the words just disappear? Why do you continue living life if…we never disappear, the words never disappear…he closes his eyes for a moment. He feels the words as the man is writing them, feels them just the same as they burn away into oblivion…listening to the wind of his soul, floating away with the ash. What are you protecting me from? There is no shelter here. A darkness pervades the sky, something darker and deeper than the night. The thick green fog obscures the strings pulling the wind up toys and the chattering teeth which never stop moving. Numbers and directions are pouring out of the teeth as shadows below it all blindly follow along. He points to the teeth and the toys as they angrily shoot sparks in his direction. This is what we need to stop he says with a large grin. Don’t be deceived by the harmless facade, or the power of stupidity over the human mind. The Detective falls to his knees remembering the life he left. Was it his birth or his death? The man who had the power to move the clouds, The Doctor knew everything. The invisible hand waves over all of them as the toys and the teeth continue to spread out across the land. The desert overcomes his mind as he hides from the burning sun. He remembers when the rain wouldn’t come. Out here in the desert, where The Doctor’s soul was forever caged as the chattering teeth and the wind up toys trampled on the shadows of his life. The Doctor’s shadow moves back and forth between his burning house and the piles of books and research as they are burning. He reaches into the burning pile of books and pulls one out. As it is still burning in his hand he places it upon The Detective’s heart where in one beat it enters him. This is all you’ll ever need to know. He opens his eyes and lies at the old man with the beards feet. The burning words falling like snowflakes on his body. He knows all he ever will need to know, but he still does not know where to find it.

“Reality is an aspect of property. It must be seized. and investigative journalism is the noble art of seizing reality back from the powerful.” Julian Assange

Posted on by Michael Romano

The Delicate Balance of Terror 17

“Very likely as many as a dozen people were now working away on rival versions of what Big Brother had actually said. And presently some master brain in the Inner Party would select this version or that, would re – edit it and set in motion the complex processes of cross – referencing that would be required, and then the chosen lie would pass into the permanent records and become truth.” George Orwell

It was like walking into a nightmare. Remembering the first idea that placed him outside of the picture he held of himself. When the face which created his reality was cemented in his mind. Burning in the midday sun he watched her red, weathered skin crying for shadows. As he watched the glare from her eyes directly shine through him he closed his eyes as what was inside of her splits into a million pieces. She floated out here amongst the shadows a few years back, unnoticed, left for dead. He knew right away what she was to him as he looked in her eyes. She would be his queen. The queen to Vlad the Impaler, he wasn’t even sure Vlad had a queen, or ever really existed. A boyhood story he wrote which he never let go of. The romantic story of Vlad and his one and only true love, the love of a peasant woman. Vlad had quite the reputation for bludgeoning to death peasants then feasting on them, but this particular one was quite special. It was to be his breakthrough, the one that would prove to the world his worth. The ideas that created his life would now shine on the screen for others to see. A narrative he was directing. There was still a glint in her eyes as he reached for her hand and picked her up off the sidewalk. The smell of piss and vodka covering her, he closes his mouth and once again looks deeply into her eyes. In the light of her eyes he steps through dimensional shifts and star explosions remembering where he knew her from. She sang to him without opening her mouth as the burning stars fell between their hands grasping each other. He understood her song as it spoke to his heart, the one that taught him what his life was suppose to be about. The images haunting him each time he closed his eyes were too overwhelming to forget. As he held her hand, the pain that she couldn’t let go of travelled throughout his body. He took me like a shadow in the night, up in the sky, away from all of this. But then he took everything I had and gave me my voice. I was a star floating in space. I was an idea, an image owned and traded, ripped apart and worshipped and I wasn’t real…I never could touch what I thought I was, only what They thought I was. The sun was setting, the sky looked like it was shedding red, pinkish tears raining down upon the Earth. It looked like everything was dying and the helicopter blades were shadows contrasted against the sun. He stepped out of the darkness with his straw hat and his smile which could mean anything. The setting sun was shining off of the helicopter windshield as she grabbed her ears to escape the noise. He held her by her hair and smiled as he dragged her towards the helicopter. This is when I take away all of your dreams she hears him say. She lips the words what are you holding unsure if they actually came out. Why can’t you take away my nightmares? Because, he says in a smile, that’s exactly what I am. As the sun falls to the ground and darkness covers us I see right there what he actually is. I shatter into a million pieces, and now I have to put myself back together once again.

Posted on by Michael Romano

The Delicate Balance of Terror 16

“Here were produced rubbishy newspapers, containing almost nothing except sport, crime, and astrology, sensational five – cent novelettes, films oozing with sex, and sentimental songs which were composed entirely by mechanical means on a special kind of kaleidoscope known as a versificator.” George Orwell

…all I ever wanted you to do is hold me…I never forgot those words you wrote to me, never forgot how I felt and how it tore me apart…a screaming wind sweeps through my hair and whispers passed my ears. I close my eyes falling to my knees, the shadow still obscures my view as I reach for the sky. Muted screams, my body closes itself. Something floating in the wind above me, caught in the branches of the tree, flapping in the wind. That sound in the distance, from so long ago, the only thing I can hear as I become what I always knew I am….Those words, I always thought they were my own. I repeated them through the darkness, down the dark hallways, the loneliness, and the expressions of ignorance. In screaming pain, my tears fall down as I picture you there. I close my eyes and split into a million pieces. I thought I was at the bottom of that well to experience what you did, to understand what was lurking inside of you. To stare into the darkness with a smile on my face. It wasn’t that easy.

…it was the sweat that told me there was a different one above me. I drank their self hatred, closing my eyes and disappearing from there. How can they just watch? The blood and my tears, the look of peace across my face, it was the only way I could continue on. I open my eyes and can only focus on the blood smeared rainbows on my purple knee highs. Why do they have to do this? There is a blood stained rainbow floating above me, caught in the branches of the tree, dripping down on them as they roar into the night. I’m sorry but you are the only one I can say this to, I’m sorry you have to experience this. Don’t be sorry

You will always experience this, just like I do, everyday I dance with the shadows…A loud whirring from above brings me back to A reality. I smile as I float away in the helicopter and there are sirens and police below, a lot of noise and a lot of roaring…I reach for the end of the rainbow, just out of reach…They never stop. I receive calls in the middle of the night, roaring from the earpiece I can’t escape it. And the shadows would never go away and he would be staring out at me from my mirror. The Colonel was trapped in the mirror, or maybe…that’s where I am. I cover it in a black cloth, but I can still feel the heat of his eyes penetrating into my heart. He walked in the shadows of my footsteps as I searched for the end of the rainbow and it was always him, right there at the end

“Power is a thing of perception. They don’t need to be able to kill you. They just need you to think they are able to kill you.” Julian Assange #wearemillions

Posted on by Michael Romano

The Delicate Balance of Terror 15

“The great purges involving thousands of people, with public trials of traitors and thought – criminals who made abject confession of their crimes and were afterwards executed, were special showpieces not occurring oftener than once in a couple of years. More commonly, people who had incurred the displeasure of the Party simply disappeared and were never heard of again.” George Orwell

…love me like a bomb…love is like a bomb…His eyes are mirrors of the desert he feels burning his skin. The blood of the sun melts down his skin, escaping shadows eclipse its glow. A pink burning darkness covers the atmosphere as a thick green fog ascends from the spinning vortex below. The blood evaporates into his mind. His heart beat continues pounding so hard it seems to push out of his skin. The sun shatters in his mind and he sees a house on a farm from a long way away, or far into the future. The house is on fire, the books, the words, the knowledge turned to ashes in a blink of his mirrored eyes. There is a figure standing in the burning doorway, waving him away. The Doctor screams something out to him, his bare fire scarred feet pushing angrily into the ground, a fury on Earth nearing its explosion. The Detective clutches his head as if he is trying to hold it together. He sees his hat on the ground up ahead in the distance. The Doctor is raising his hands as if he is conducting an orchestra. He watches his head rising up from the ground below his hat, his hands reaching through the soil, grasping at the burning sun. His body continues growing from the ground as he lets out a scream. In an explosion he is taken back to his present reality.

He is floating in the sky, enjoying a short spell of calmness. He opens his eyes to the image of the disturbingly approaching ground below him. The eclipse breaks and shards of light escape from his eyes as he grits his teeth and prepares to explode. There is a large group below him wearing dark hoods, holding candles and slowly moving below him. He tightly closes his eyes…cmon get it on He hears himself explode before he feels the impact. He feels hands below him gently cradling him to safety. He is rocked back and forth as he slowly opens his eyes. His eyes yield to the power sneaking passed the blackened sun. The Movement carries him up a hill where an old man with a beard is furiously writing as the pages falling from his desk instantly catch fire. I have been calling you for so long, the old man says, where have you been?

I’ve been a bit busy these days.

“You have to start with the truth. The truth is the only way that we can get anywhere. Because any decision-making that is based upon lies or ignorance can’t lead to a good conclusion.” Julian Assange #wearemillions

Posted on by Michael Romano

The Delicate Balance of Terror 14

O you who pass, halt and remember
What tyrant holds your life in bond;
Remember the fixed, reprieveless hour,
The crushing stroke, the dark beyond.

And let us now, as men condemned,
In peace and thrift of time stand still
To learn our world while yet we may,
And shape our souls, however ill;

And we will live, hand, eye and brain,
Piously, outwardly, ever aware,
Till all our hours burn clear and brave
Like candle flames in windless air;

So shall we in the rout of life
Some thought, some faith, some meaning save,
And speak it once before we go
In silence to the silent grave.
Eric Blair

The whirring of the helicopter would not subside as he was reminded of consciousness by the blinking of his eyes.  Scrolling down the screen at the numbers for the over/under on his death is constantly amusing to him.   There are now cartoon Nazi villains threatening a reset, poison pushers threatening passports into normalcy, and he was watching himself die because he was convinced his eyes at least took some part in causing this.  He travelled through the explosions of distraction his eyes have caused.  He watched the acceptance of the perpetual death machine bred from his ideas that would not disappear.  The script once again appeared before him.  The shadowy hand once again blocked his vision.  He looked for an escape but can only see the sound bites haunting him, the ones he placed within his films, the ones the shadowy hand allowed to flow through his mind.  He watched the children being taken away, their minds hovering above their bodies.  A shadowy hand passes across his vision as he sees it's not The Colonel doing this, it's him...he shouts I was one, I was one of them when you took...me away.

The spells were cast, still regurgitated from the massive vortex of dying ideas, he found one that came from deeply within him.  He began to randomly insert them into the violent bloodbaths he was creating on the screen.  The fire was lit within him, yet that script which grew bigger every time it would appear, would not relinquish its power over him.  

He focused into his forehead on the screen in front of him as he heard her calling out to him.  Down a long corridor of mirrors she attempted to escape only to be trapped in her own house of mirrors as they began to crack.  He noticed the fire appearing in his eyes once again.  The whirring enters his hearing and with each revolution of the helicopter blades he watched a child disappear into the darkness.  And he entered into that night from long ago, the glass house, something being placed into his eyes.  There was a mirror on the floor, he saw his eyes bleeding pink as he fell to his knees.  She was still calling him, trapped down a long corridor.  Her voice echoing through the house.  My eyes were never the same...I was no longer looking through them...Colonel what are you holding?
Posted on by Michael Romano

The Delicate Balance of Terror 13

“And somehow or other, quite anonymous, there were the directing brains who coordinated the whole effort and laid down the lines of policy which made it necessary that this fragment of the past should be preserved, that one falsified, and the other rubbed out of existence.” George Orwell

And we danced like it was the last time, everything felt like the last time now. Light from the candles was flickering off our faces. I pointed to the top of the hill where the old man continued writing. You still could not see him. The star vibrating within my mind led me from the dark hole where memories and truth could be touched as solid objects. I could hear the sound of your voice asking for help, destroying me each time. You told me about the man in the dark hat. The same one I saw. He took away all you were before you even knew there was anything to take. They called him The Colonel you said. You couldn’t forget his face, the way it transformed before your eyes. And you said how you were reaching out for butterflies when you sensed his presence. And you felt like you reached through the sun as a butterfly landed on your hand, and you didn’t feel there was much more you needed to know. You looked down from inside the sun and you could see all the lines down there, all of the division. You close your eyes and fall into the darkness of remembrance. I see you walking next to the dark building as it was changing shape, reaching for butterflies, still unable to see the building…all I ever wanted you to do is hold me. Out here, lost in all of this fog your eyes are opened but you can no longer see. Through the fog I can only hear your heart beating, it’s loud and it’s scared and I can’t ignore the cries. I reach for you as your hand moves further away, pushing me away just…as…I learn…to hold it. I extend my hand through the fog but feel nothing as the sensation of touching my own arm passes along my skin. I wipe the fog away from your eyes and I watch as you process the remembrance of what you once were. You walk towards a tree, The Tree, its shadow casting across your face. I shiver as the image of you holding yourself up against the tree only able to hold its shadow, becomes my own. And you look down at the blood, and something is gone, but you don’t know what it is. The sound of your heart increases in volume as you look into the shadow you are holding in your hand. Unable to move your feet, stuck there in one place, you wish you could disappear into the miasma of the spinning figures approaching you. Can you see that old man with the beard? I cry out to you. Your eyes are lit up by the spinning vortex as you are paralyzed by its movement. Your eyes tell me you know all you need to know, all you were looking for, or all They want you to know.

“If we can only live once, then let it be a daring adventure that draws on all our powers. Let it be with similar types whose hearts and heads we may be proud of. Let our grandchildren delight to find the start of our stories in their ears but the endings all around in their wandering eyes. The whole universe or the structure that perceives it is a worthy opponent, but try as I may I cannot escape the sound of suffering.” Julian Assange #wearemillions

Posted on by Michael Romano

The Delicate Balance of Terror 12

“All one knew was that every quarter astronomical numbers of boots were produced on paper, while perhaps half the population of Oceania went barefoot. And so it was with every class of recorded fact, great or small. Everything faded away into a shadow – world in which, finally, even the date of the year had become uncertain.” George Orwell

They took it away in the night, lurking in the shadows, waiting. In the shadows of the moon I watched them escape silently, leaving nothing behind. I clutched onto Bunny, but he couldn’t protect me from them. A river appeared below me. I knew It would come back, and I knew I would feel guilty and shed tears for the wrong I caused. I could no longer open my eyes without seeing my eyes looking back at me, haunted by an idea of myself. I promised you, all of you and I lied, and now I’m dying inside. I felt your voices rise up from the ashes, no longer separate from me. I remember you came to me, crying, there was blood. You didn’t know where it was coming from, but it wouldn’t stop. The only thing your mind could recall was getting out of that helicopter and you couldn’t hear anything because of the noise. You thought you had died until you saw your daddy. Seeing him made you so happy but he wouldn’t look at you, he wouldn’t touch you and you died a little more. I only could see the light emanating from you as you lie there, a patch of fog blocking my sight. I see my face again in the gleam of your eyes and I wasn’t selling anything.

-The hands reaching out from the shadows appear to be his own. The screen still shows his face, day by day growing a little older. He has been staring at his face for an eternity now, but it still seems unchanged. He can see her down that long corridor, the last time they said goodbye. When everything was still burning and shrouded in fog. She told him there was a map and he knew she was talking about the map of return. The soldiers were marching, materialized from his eyes. They were here to take everything, as lightning and thunder rumbled and the whirring came again. How did you know we did this? But Colonel, I just made it up, I don’t Know. He clutches his face and stares at his eyes looking out at him from the screen. The children, why were you taking away the children? where did they go? How did you know? I was one, I can’t remember but…I was one

The Detective floats up into the sky, formlessly stretching into eternity. Monitored, stamped, catalogued, shot up with a smile. His being which was now the essence of the bomb, is strapped to a plane. The wind up toys are continuously signing things, and randomly shooting sparks from their mouths. Sign, collect money, sign, collect, it’s all they know. They form a line of protection, blocking our sight, a barrier to truth protected with sparks. They don’t have mirrors here, how can they? Sign, collect, stamp, push buttons, don’t hear the children cry. He looks down at the map below him, half of it is on fire, the other half marching, hands raised, the echoes of their voices pushing him towards the sun. The buttons being pushed are leading him in the opposite direction. He clutches his hat in an attempt to keep himself together. He begins falling from the plane and he remembers the desert, and how the sun cried on him and he remembers the old man and he wondered how he would be written out of this.

“If we have brains or courage, then we are blessed and called on not to frit these qualities away, standing agape at the ideas of others, winning pissing contests, improving the efficiencies of the neocorporate state, or immersing ourselves in obscuranta, but rather to prove the vigor of our talents against the strongest opponents of love we can find.” Julian Assange #wearemillions

Posted on by Michael Romano

The Delicate Balance of Terror 11

“…as he readjusted the Ministry of Plenty’s figures, it was not even forgery. It was merely the substitution of one piece of nonsense for another. Most of the material that you were dealing with had no connection with anything in the real world, not even the kind of connection that is contained in a direct lie. Statistics were just as much a fantasy in their original version as in their rectified version.” George Orwell

I am wrapped in a foetal position, my face lies on the cold sand as the ocean waves crash over my body along to the beat of my heart. The moon is reflected off the ocean encapsulating her as she rows further away from me but still seems stuck in one area. Words whisper through my ears, why did you jump in the well, how did you survive, did you want to come back up, was someone chasing you, was Something chasing you? I don’t have any answers. As I repeatedly blink my eyes I see my face on that sign, no life in them, did you get pricked? But it’s not me, or maybe I just don’t recognize that Me. Let me be your little brother, I was saying with a smile that was no longer my own.

-There was a thousand page script placed before him that wasn’t there yesterday. The fans were ablaze in the chat because no one could find the exact moment it was placed there. There was a whirring noise materializing from overhead, which immediately forces his body to mildly convulse. He felt a warm shadowy hand on his back colonel what are you holding? The shadowy hand points at the script, this is it. The shadow leaves in a trail of fire as the whirring sound fades away. A sighting of shadows which were not The Director’s own is reported in the chat which is obsessed over for weeks without any real conclusions. A noticeable wrinkle appears running down The Director’s face. In front of him, his eyes can now perceive a burst of fire. Her hands reach through the burning pyre as he is overcome with an odd sense of inner warmth. The shadowy hand returns to his back and bursts into flames. He closes his eyes in an attempt to hear her words whispering to him through the flames. He can only hear the whispers of the shadows as they are marching along the shore having their minds taken away by a dark barely visible hand.

The Detective’s feet are strapped to the conveyor belt as he continues along, growing younger and younger the closer he gets to the building. There is a crane which reaches into the shadows at the end of the conveyor belt. It is mechanically removing something from inside of them and placing it into the bombs which are then attaching themselves to the planes. As he looks down at his feet he sees they are now shrouded in a swirling darkness. He looks out through his now much younger eyes, only able to see the shadow which he has become.

“Every time we witness an injustice and do not act, we train our character to be passive in its presence and thereby eventually lose all ability to defend ourselves and those we love. In a modern economy it is impossible to seal oneself off from injustice.” Julian Assange #wearemillions

Posted on by Michael Romano

The Delicate Balance of Terror 10

“You have to remember what it was like in 1948 to appreciate Nineteen Eighty-Four. Somebody in 1949 told me- that was the year the book came out- that Orwell had wanted to call it Nineteen Forty- Eight. But they wouldn’t let him.” Anthony Burgess

The television mirroring my thoughts flickers on and off, reminding me who I am. The light trickling from the screen forms a barrier of fog as my mind continues wandering past the images. Sometimes when I close my eyes, it becomes louder. Sometimes when I enter my brain, touching those forgotten memories which I swore to never forget, to never forget that peace…in one swipe of the hand, they disappear along with the wind. I remember the walk down the beach, as if it was ever real. The stars raining down into my eyes. The waves from the ocean, falling through my soul, tilting me forward. I saw the end there, staring up into the sun, I thought I knew all there ever was to know. Wrote it all out in my mind. When I went back to read it all, it no longer made any sense to me, maybe it never did. The television comes to life in a short flicker. I fall to the floor and I can no longer move. I can no longer watch the past.

-I saw something. I saw something in my eyes.

He descends the dark corridors and watches himself step through the moon.

-In those eyes I saw it, I saw what was always chasing me.

Her cries grew fainter as their cries grew louder. I remember all I stole. I have nothing to offer. We like to watch people fall apart.

-Well strap yourself along for the ride because here it is- but now he could hear what the children were trying to say, now he could feel them, now he knew that their story was his own. The old man with the beard shouts from above, it is time to come on in. He continues to watch his face grow older, as Her hand reaches out for him once again through the flames his hands approach the mirror. The moon shatters in two as her cries and her fingers running down the mirror etch shadows of blood and words he can no longer remember. The moon crashes to the Earth in a burst of light.

He touches the scar running down his face and remembers the life he once lived. Before the fog, and the fires. The fire overcomes him as cries emanating from the darkness reflect through his closed mouth. He touches his hand to the Earth, satisfied knowing he is heading in the right direction. The building expands and changes shape with every footstep towards it. He sees the conveyor belt and the children strapped to it as they flow into the building unable to move their feet. The full moon blinds him. He crosses a barely visible line in the sand. The fog evaporates before him as the spinning shadows ascend into the moonlit sky. The old man with the beard sits atop the hill with pages and pages of burnt paper crackling at his feet. The sun cries out in anguish resting on his shoulder. An eternity melts at his feet, as his footsteps track the blood and tears of his eternal return. His eyes mirror the world we thought we had as cracks form down the middle. The Detective touches his heart knowing, he has to fix this, sensing his mission he still couldn’t understand why he needed to travel to the past to experience the future.

Posted on by Michael Romano

The Delicate Balance of Terror 9

“…nearly the whole of the English Left has been driven to accept the Russian regime as “Socialist” while silently recognizing that its spirit and practice are quite alien to anything that is meant by “Socialism” in this country. Hence there has arisen a sort of schizophrenic manner of thinking, in which words like “democracy” can bear two irreconcilable meanings, and such things as concentration camps and mass deportations can be right and wrong simultaneously.” George Orwell

-The nail has never been hit quite so hard on the head…who are you…?

He looks at the computer screen, watching his face slowly contort into desperation. He closes his eyes and watches her reaching up for him, her muted cries for help cut deeply deep within him. The cats walk across the marble floor, moonlight reflecting from their eyes as her screams emanate from their open eyes-don’t close your eyes, don’t ever close your eyes Looking straight into his own eyes continues to become more difficult. He can’t remember what he was searching for here as he looks down on the blank page his hand is resting on. It were the minds he stole that made it no longer possible for him to experience rest. Haunting his every waking moment, he stared at himself falling apart and still could not understand why. He walked along those stars, never noticing the shadows not far behind but always seeing the cracks forming up ahead in his vision. His blood quakes from the anguished cries of those hands reaching up at his feet…

The dying desert sun washes over his eyes as he’s blinded by the fog which continues to distort his vision. He continues walking down the seemingly endless alleyway as the humming from the people follows at a similar pace. He feels a strange cold wind pushing him from behind, emanating from their constantly spinning bodies. He no longer has the ability to see if they are living or even what they’ve become. As he pushes away the thick green fog from his eyes he sees a building in the far distance and a barely visible flickering light. He continues on, knowing this must be where he’s headed. In the darkness the screams only seem like a faint wind blowing through everything, passing unnoticed. The building flickers in and out and he is not sure which way to turn. The blood of the sun from his eyes deters them from closing as he is once again lost, and he is nowhere. In a piercing cry of peace a fire lights his way up ahead, the burning warmth calms him as he slowly approaches the fire and the humming and the spinning winds instantly subside. In the shadows of the flames he is overcome with the life reborn, pulsing through his veins. A cry from a man unseen suddenly enters him and for a second he remembers everything

…sometimes I awaken trapped in the middle of a feverish dream. The dead, cold hands warming me, the ticking in my brain, the shadows hovering above me. I keep running but I can no longer turn behind me. Attached to my brain is a hose, attached to one of three holes in the wall. Maybe this is where it all ends, in a fiery inferno below all of us…there is a constant chatter coming from down the hallway. There is constant darkness covering my eyes, but I am safe, I am warm, at least that’s what they tell me. I don’t forget the moon here. I don’t forget when they come to take me away. I hold my bunny and never let go, but they still take me away. They still tell me it doesn’t hurt as they whisper it’s okay, it’s okay and all I remember is don’t worry, it’s okay. But I ran from you before, I always have to run. On a conveyor belt I am taken away, along with all our hopes and dreams, taken away with the wind by your cold gentle hands, wrapped around my mouth. It is all taken away from me when I’m told I’m not right. Do you remember when you said that? I’m not right, I’m crazy. In the night I close my eyes and I see the shadows and the moon, beating down upon my face and I feel your hands and I cry into the emptiness of the shadows surrounding me as it’s okay means something different here. And I touch my stomach as the eyes that always followed me in the darkness become something different here. They become the eyes of my own, staring out from that screen, reminding everyone don’t worry, they stick that in your arm to help.